Conceited Prats and Ungrateful Gits
by shiiki
Summary: All Lily Evans wants is a peaceful lunch break by the lake with her friends. But the tranquility of the summer afternoon is shattered by the antics of Potter and co. An alternate point of view of Snape's Worst Memory OotP, Chpt 28.


**CONCEITED PRATS AND UNGRATEFUL GITS**  
by _shiiki_

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_**Disclaimer**: Everything here belongs to the great Ms Rowling; I'm only playing in her world._

_**A/N**: This version of the story has been edited in response to comments that I've received on the previous version, especially a very insightful one by **Mary Ellis**, which prompted me to examine Lily's thoughts and feelings more deeply. A former version can be found on _The Sugar Quill_, for anyone who is interested._

_As always, I owe much to my betas: **Birgit **from SQ, who edited the first draft very encouragingly, and **tesgirl123** from SU, who approved the final draft. Thanks, to both of you!_

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The hallway outside the Great Hall of Hogwarts was silent; only the scratching of quills could be heard as the fifth-years scrambled to finish their Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL theory paper within. The clocked ticked on, just five more minutes …

'Quills down, please!' announced a squeaky voice behind the doors. 'That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio!_'

There was a loud _whoosh_, followed by a burst of laughter. And suddenly, a rising wave of chatter rose as chairs scraped the ground and the doors burst open.

'Four down, five more to go,' announced Dorcas Meadowes, as the five fifth-year Gryffindor girls emerged together from the Great Hall, following the throng of students headed outdoors.

'Three and a half, to be exact,' corrected Alice Moody. 'There's still the practical after lunch.'

'Well, I'm not going to think about that,' vowed Lily Evans. 'Let's go down to the lake until it's time – it's such a hot day.'

The sunlight was indeed dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake that afternoon, and the girls peeled off their shoes and socks to dip their feet into the cool water.

'Did you see when all the parchments flew at Flitwick?' said Alice.

Lily laughed, replaying the scene in her mind's eye. 'Poor Flitwick, our papers were just too much for him.'

'Did you see Sirius?' gushed Melissa Starling, who had earlier taken a seat behind the handsome boy. 'He was so _calm_…'

'I don't know about Black,' grinned Lily, 'but I certainly noticed _you_. You were staring at him like he had all the answers to the paper written on the back of his head!'

Melissa flushed as the other girls laughed.

'He _is_ good-looking, you must admit,' she said sheepishly.

'Peter was looking at _my_ script like it had all the answers it needed,' sniffed Dorcas.

'It probably did,' said Aura Banning gravely, but with a twinkle in her eye, which caused the others to break out in peals of laughter again.

'Lunch should be ready by now – do you girls want to go in?' suggested Alice.

'Oh no … it's so beautiful out here … and we're going to be cooped up the rest of the week for exams. I'd rather spend as much time as possible in the sun,' replied Lily. She closed her eyes, letting the sunlight soak in.

'Why don't we just have lunch here? I could go and fetch something,' offered Aura. Lily perked up at her best friend's suggestion – a peaceful picnic lunch by the lake sounded _lovely_.

'That'd be wonderful! Thanks, Aura.'

'I'll go with you,' said Alice, scrambling to her feet. The two girls hurried off back to the castle.

'It's a shame they have exams in the summer,' sighed Lily. 'It's a waste of beautiful weather.' She gazed dreamily across the lake, absently dipping her fingers into the water.

_I'd schedule exams in winter, if I had a choice,_ she mused. _When it's cold and dreary and we have to stay indoors anyway._

'Look.' Dorcas nudged Lily out of her reverie. 'Melissa's gaping again.'

Sure enough, Melissa was watching Sirius Black and James Potter across the lake; the two had gathered on the lawn not far away from the girls, together with the tag-ons of their group, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. Black was staring around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so – no one could fail to concede that. Potter was toying with a Golden Snitch, letting it fly a foot away, before seizing it. Every few seconds, he would rumple up his hair and glance in their direction.

Lily rolled her eyes. Potter, that insufferable git, was always trying to get her attention with his immature antics. He also seemed to think it amusing to ask her out ten times a day, no matter how many times she refused. It was annoying, to say the least. When would he ever grow up and give up?

'Conceited prat,' Lily muttered, turning away.

'Hey, relax, Lily,' soothed Dorcas. 'If he wants to make a fool out of himself, that's his lookout, isn't it?'

'Problem is, he thinks he's so popular – and he actually _is_ – that he can get away with anything.' If only everyone didn't treat Potter like a Quidditch star both on _and_ off the pitch. Lily would never understand why it was such a big deal – or how being good at Quidditch made boys more attractive. She just knew that it was how Black and Potter had turned, from halfway-decent boys in their first and second years, into the arrogant pricks with bloated heads and puffed-up egos that they were now. And she hated it. 'I can't understand why every other girl in the school that doesn't fall for Black is head over heels for him!'

Dorcas laughed. 'Unfortunately for him, you're not one of them. How many times has he tried to ask you out this week?'

'I don't keep track, for heaven's sake!' said Lily exasperatedly. She hoped Aura and Alice would return soon; she desperately wanted to change the subject. Thoughts of James Potter were spoiling her peaceful break.

'Oh look,' Melissa cried suddenly. 'It's Snape!' Despite her reluctance to discuss Potter further, Lily swung her head back to the boys to watch – there was always trouble when Potter, Black and Snape clashed; their enmity was no secret in the school. Lily had never known exactly when the trouble had started or actually seen an entire episode of a Potter and Black versus Snape duel. What she did see now disgusted her immensely.

Snape was setting off across the grass, in the direction of the castle. Potter and Black stood and called out.

'All right, Snivellus?' said Potter, in a loud, carrying voice.

Snape reacted so fast, Lily wondered if he had been expecting an attack. He dropped his bag and plunged his hand inside his robes the moment Potter opened his mouth. But Snape wasn't quick enough: before his wand was fully raised, Potter had shouted, '_Expelliarmus!_'

Snape's wand flew out of his hands and into the air. It landed with a little thud in the grass behind him. He immediately dove for it. Black let out a derisive bark of laughter.

'_Impedimenta!_' he said, halting Snape mid-dive.

Lily, Dorcas, and Melissa weren't the only ones looking now: Lily noticed, out of the corner of her eye, that students all around had turned to watch, some of them even laughing as they gathered closer, as though viewing a good show. She, however, stood stock still, unable to wrench her eyes away. This was a completely unprovoked attack on Snape's part, and it was totally uncalled for. How could Potter and Black be so callous and cruel?

'They're certainly going to pass their Defence practical,' murmured Dorcas softly. Lily threw her an incredulous look.

'_Defence?_ I don't know what you're talking about, because what they're doing doesn't look anything like _defence_.'

'Keep your hair on, Lily,' said Melissa. 'They're just having fun … it's just a couple of hexes.'

Snape was lying panting on the ground now. Potter and Black advanced on him, wands raised, Potter glancing over his shoulder in Lily's direction again as he went, which only served to fuel Lily's anger. Did he think such a show was meant to _impress_ her?

'How'd the exam go, Snivelly?' said Potter casually.

'I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,' said Black viciously. 'There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word.'

Several people watching laughed; someone let out a shrill snigger – probably Potter and Black's friend Peter Pettigrew. Snape tried to get up, but the Impediment Jinx had not worn off; he looked as though he was moving underwater, as he struggled against an invisible force. Lily felt a pang of pity for him, and wondered how everybody could be so unfeeling as to find it humorous.

'You – wait,' Snape panted, staring up at Potter with an expression of purest loathing, 'you – wait!'

'Wait for what?' said Black coolly. 'What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?'

Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but it had no effect; his wand was still lying in the grass, ten feet away.

'Wash out your mouth,' said James coldly. '_Scourgify!_'

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him – oh, why didn't Remus Lupin do something about his friends? He was a prefect – he ought to control them a bit…if anyone could have any influence on them, it should be him, as their friend. But he was sitting there as though turned to stone. Lily wished he'd show a bit of backbone.

Well, if Remus wasn't going to act, _she_ would.

'You call that _fun_?' she hissed at Melissa. 'I'll show them _fun_, the arrogant, conceited, bullying – leave him ALONE!' She rushed forward angrily.

Potter and Black looked round. Potter's free hand immediately jumped to his hair, spiking it up, as he saw her coming.

'All right, Evans?' said Potter, his tone changing abruptly from cold and cruel to warm, pleasant and deep. It was a voice that would make most girls swoon, but Lily was unaffected.

'Leave him alone,' she ordered again, glaring at him. 'What's he done to you?'

'Well,' said Potter, appearing to deliberate the point, 'it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean …' He grinned at her and waggled his eyebrows as though he'd said something clever and highly entertaining that he expected her to appreciate.

Many of the surrounding students laughed, Black and Pettigrew included. Lily couldn't think of anything less hilarious, however, and out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Remus Lupin, who was staring intently at a book with a faint frown line between his eyebrows, was not laughing either.

'You think you're funny,' she said coldly. 'But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_.'

'I will if you go out with me, Evans,' said Potter quickly. 'Go on … go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.'

This was such an insult that Lily's cheeks instantly turned red with rage. How could he even think that she would stoop to bartering with a horrible bully? Or consider going out with one? Why, she'd rather choose a … a slimy water creature! 'I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,' she spat.

'Bad luck, Prongs,' said Black briskly. 'OI!'

The Impediment Jinx was wearing off: Snape was inching towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled. He reached it before Black or Potter could react, and directed his wand straight at Potter; with a flash of light, he had cut a gash on the side of Potter's face, from which blood spattered out onto his robes. Lily gasped involuntarily; she had, of course, expected retaliation from Snape (and quite justified too), but this was surely considered Dark magic!

Potter reacted instantaneously: in a split second, he had Snape hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal his pale, insect-like legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Black, Potter and Pettigrew roared with laughter. Lily felt her mouth twitch – Snape _did_ resemble a long-legged bat in atrocious-looking underwear – but restrained herself quickly. It would never do to condone this behaviour.

'Let him down!' she scolded.

'Certainly,' said Potter amiably, and with a jerk of his wand, Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, '_Petrificus Totalus!_' in a bored tone and Snape's arms snapped to his sides, immobilised by the Body-Bind.

'LEAVE HIM ALONE!' Lily shouted. How immature could they get? Well, if yelling at them wasn't going to work, she'd have to resort to more drastic measures. Reaching into her robes, she whipped out her wand and pointed it straight at them. They eyed it warily. Lily's spell work was by no means shoddy and they knew it.

'Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you,' said Potter earnestly. _As if he'd dare_, thought Lily disgustedly.

'Take the curse off him, then!'

Potter sighed deeply – as though it were such a chore to do the right thing! – then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

'There you go,' he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. 'You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –'

'I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!' was Snape's astonishing comment.

Lily blinked, utterly speechless for a second, feeling insulted beyond words. She'd only been trying to help! If this was the way he reacted, when she was just doing him a favour …

'Fine,' she said finally. 'I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_.' It was probably quite hypocritical of her to use Potter and Black's derogatory name for him, but she couldn't think of anything else quick enough and Snape's ungracious response had touched a nerve – she wouldn't have minded the name-calling, but how _rude_ he was being!

'Apologise to Evans!' Potter roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him again. Lily couldn't believe her ears. It was _his_ fault, _he_ had started this, and he was acting as though Snape was the main culprit here?

She whirled around and shouted, 'I don't want _you_ to make him apologise! You're as bad as he is.'

'What?' yelped Potter. 'I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!'

As if that were the point! When would he learn that simply not using the word 'Mudblood' wasn't a guarantee for moral righteousness? Losing her temper completely, she yelled, 'Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.'

With that, she turned on her heel and hurried away. She could hear Potter shouting her name after her, but she didn't look back. She might really be sick if she had to look at his face again.

'Bang out of order,' she could hear people whispering.

'Doesn't know how lucky she is …'

'Throwing it all away …'

'Can't believe James still likes her …'

Furious, Lily stomped up the castle steps. The beautiful summer afternoon was ruined for her now, and it was all James Potter's fault. Why did people like him have to exist?

'Lily!' Aura and Alice were approaching, trays of food in their arms. 'Lily, what happened?'

'Hey Lily – I've got your shoes and socks!' Dorcas hurried up behind her. 'They're just going on, you'd better get a teacher or something –'

'I don't care,' said Lily coldly. She strode past them angrily, leaving Aura and Alice to look inquiringly at Dorcas for answers. Whatever he was doing, she was _through_ with dealing with James Potter.


End file.
